Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Waddling Thunder makes fun of the Star Market's sign that "Federal State Law prohibits the sale of individual sticks of butter" because there's no such thing as "federal state law."

I think he's been at law school too long.

Because my first reaction to that sign would have nothing to do with federal state law, but with why exactly the law prohibits the sale of individual sticks of butter (I thought butter was bad for us -- yet we're required to buy it in bulk??), and, even more so, why the Star Market needs to put up a sign about it. Is there a gang of "butter bandits" running around Cambridge trying to buy single sticks of butter? Has Star Market recently been faced with people opening up butter packages, removing individual sticks, and attempting to purchase them? Is the US government subsidizing butter producers (I was about to say "butter farmers" but quickly realized that can't be right) by requiring us to buy more than we need?

Don't do it, Star Market. Don't let the FDA create these butter purchasing regulations and interfere with the normal workings of the free market. If I want to buy a single stick of butter, why shouldn't I be able to? Why is there a law to stop me? Is this what lawmakers are spending their time doing? "Well, Senator, I know we wanted to talk about terrorism some more, but first I have a proposal to put on the table. I think we should prohibit the sale of individual sticks of butter." "But why?" "Because I'm senile." "Oh." "And while we're at it -- let's prohibit the sale of cheese in any size smaller than a five pound block, and rolls of paper towel in anything fewer than a 24-pack." "Gotcha."