I can't legitimately make fun of existing questions and answers for prospective law students (see today's earlier entry along with yesterday's ramblings) without at least trying to create an alternative of my own. So here goes:

Questions and Answers for Prospective Law Students, from someone who hasn't even started law school yet so has no real expertise on the issue

1. Should I go to law school?
For me, it was either law school or figuring out what kind of job (a) I could get and (b) I really wanted to do. And that's really hard. So I chose law school. But that's not as stupid as it sounds. Because there are lawyer-like jobs that do sound interesting to me, and regardless of whether I decide I want to practice law, hopefully law school will (a) increase the number of jobs I can get, and (b) give me some more information and time to figure out what I really want to do. Plus, it's three more years of school, and I already know I'm good at school. I don't know if there's really any advice there, except to say that from the people I've talked to, it isn't as simple as just being 100% sure you want to sue big companies for doing mean things (or defend the big companies against those obviously-frivilous lawsuits), because there's lots of jobs for lawyers that aren't so obvious, and lots of other jobs where the law degree can help... or so I hope....

2. If I decide I want to go to law school, should I take the LSAT?
Definitely. And you should make sure to do well!

3. How?
By answering most of the questions correctly. Here's a hint: if Sally eats Steak on Sunday, then Fred definitely eats Fish on Friday. (If you've never taken the LSAT, I'm talking gibberish here, I know.)

4. How do I decide which law school to attend?
Try the U.S. News rankings. They're perfect in every way.

5. Is law school hard?
Ask me in a few weeks. I sure hope not.

6. My parents say I must go to either medical school or law school, or they'll cut me off financially. How do I explain to them that my real passion is sculpture and my dream is to be a famous artist?
Hold on a second, who's telling you not to be a famous artist? But do you really want to be a struggling artist? Doctor-artist sounds awfully cool, with kind of a whole renaissance man (or woman -- imaginary questioner didn't tell me his or her gender) thing going on. What have you got to lose if your parents are paying? Worst case scenario is you hate school and you drop out -- but if you don't give up your art along the way, what have you lost? And if the art doesn't work out, this way you've got a pretty neat backup plan. Don't demonize graduate school like it has to make you give up your dreams. Demonize investment banking and management consulting instead. They're the real enemies.

7. My girlfriend walked in on me and another girl---
This is for law school-related questions only, please.

8. No, just listen. My girlfriend walked in on me and another girl studying for the LSATs together and now she's jealous. What do I do?
Like I said before, if Sally eats Steak on Sunday, then Fred definitely eats Fish on Friday, if you know what I mean.... (I don't even know what I mean... but it's getting late here, so give me a break...)

9. Thanks for the advice.
You're welcome. But that's really not a question.