Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, August 24, 2002

I just discovered the "Law Discussion Area" message board on Princeton Review's website (www.review.com). I think someone ought to be monitoring the board a little more closely. Five of the most recent topics:

"Is my roommate right to be mad at me for listening to Eminem?"
"Closet Homosexuals in Hollywood"
"Do we brief ALL of the cases in our texts?"
"Lawyer unhappiness"
"I squirted my foam all over two chicks!!"

That's quite a mix, isn't it?

And... even more fun with law-related web sites... "The Incoming One-L FAQ" at http://www.ilrg.com/glasser.html features answers to common questions about starting law school. Some highlights:

(Note: I don't really mean to pick on this specific web site as being any more ridiculous or less well-intentioned than any other resource. I'm mostly just trying to be funny, and, if there's any point I'm trying to make it's that most well-meaning sources of "advice" are pretty lame and obvious. It's really nothing personal against this site -- and if I was really diligent and really had readers who were depending on me for that type of thing, I'd surely do some research and find a site that was truly ridiculous. But, in a pinch, this one will have to do.)

[3] How can I get ready for Law School?
Are you sitting on the fence in a relationship? This is the time to fall off the fence, either one way or another. Do you have a place to live? Are you planning on getting dental surgery? Take care of these kinds of things *before* school starts.

Thanks, Incoming One-L FAQ. I was going to start law school (a) without a place to live, and (b) needing dental surgery. But now, thanks to that answer, I guess I'll cave in and finally leave the bench I've been living under. And I'll read the fine print of my health insurance (see my August 8th entry for more about health insurance) and see a dentist.

[5] Are study groups a good idea?
This is a very subjective call.

Helpful.

[8] How should I take notes?
Use a pen. *rim shot* Seriously, you got through undergrad, you already know how to take notes.

Is this really worth my time?

[9] Socrates Unplugged
The Paper Chase was a movie. This is the real world. The fact is, that at most top schools, it is considered very bad form among professors to torture students publicly. Some teachers hit students randomly, others call on the same people, looking for someone to parrot their take on things, yet others go in the order of the seating chart in a democratic fashion.

Uh, that's not a question. Gotcha, Incoming One-L FAQ!

[11] Grades
Unless you totally freak out and write gibberish, you'll pass. But is passing enough? It depends where you go to school. It isn't fair, but the facts of life are that if you are at a second-tier school, you are best advised to do particularly well.

Uh, that's not a question either. But I'll let it slide in favor of making fun of the retarded answer. "You are best advised to do particularly well?" Come on, is this helping anyone? From an imaginary testimonial ad for the Incoming One-L FAQ: "Well, I thought I ought to try and fail," thought Johnny Moron of Thomas Cooley Law School and Chinese Buffet, "but then I read the advice in the Incoming One-L FAQ and now I'm a straight-D student. Thanks, Incoming One-L FAQ!"