Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear the Professor Say on the First Day of Law School

10. This class will be conducted entirely in German.
9. I gather you've all already read the entire textbook.
8. Has anyone seen my pants?
7. I only give D's.
6. I've just been diagnosed with a rare and extremely contagious fatal disease.
5. Welcome to Criminal Law. You're all under arrest.
4. Security, please lock the doors from the outside.
3. I am the devil.
2. For homework, please memorize the first chapter of your casebook.
1. Clear your desks and take out a pen. I am passing around the final exam. You have 3 hours.