Had to go to the undergraduate library this morning to find a book for the subciting I have to do for the Journal on Law and Technology. (A brief description of subciting, for the non-law students in the audience -- it's basically checking footnotes in journal articles to make sure they're accurate and formatted properly, based on a 386-page "pamphlet" called the Bluebook. And, yes, it's as boring as it sounds.) So I went to Widener Library. I think it's called Widener because every time they wanted to add books, they just said "Widen 'er." Yeah, not funny, I know. Anyway, this library is huge, and harder to navigate than the streets of a South American country during a soccer championship. Yeah, that's not funny either. So... back to the library... there's an East wing and a West wing, and they're only connected on some floors, and at some narrow passageway in the middle of the library. I asked the librarian how to get from 1-East to 1-West, and she said, "Go through the doors, and make a right. Follow the stacks and then make a right. Go through the door, past the copier, and make a right. Then go past the bathrooms and make a right. Go by the refueling station and make another right. Then follow the signs towards China (I mean "Chinese language and literature"), take off your shoes, go down the slide, under the ropes, make three more rights, and it'll be behind door #3. There's only a copy machine on every other floor. I found a staircase, went up, and was greeted with a sign, "this is not a staircase." Uh, sure it is. Just without a door at the top. Finally I found what I was looking for. Well, sort of. I found 2 of the 3 books I needed to find. The third one is at the Harvard Book Depository, which I think is where President Kennedy was shot. I have to fill out a book release form for it, so they can send someone to the warehouse to get it out of cold storage (next to Ted Wlliams' body) and let me look at it for 4 hours in special reserves on floor B-9 -- that's the 9th floor underground, right above the fifth ring of hell. Yes, so that was my adventure in the undergraduate library. Makes me wish I was an undergrad. Not.