Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

No snow on the ground here in New York, but apparently I missed from travel-difficultifying (yeah, I know that's not a word, or even anything close) snow in Boston. It's weird to be home. Not that much to do. Went to the dentist this morning. Fun stuff. Read "The Death of Contracts" on the way home. For class, not for fun. Thank goodness. I'd need some medical attention if I was reading something like that for fun.

Forgot to mention earlier this week -- I somehow got my first choice elective, International Environmental Law. Even though there were only 15 slots open. Out of 550 people who could have chosen it. And in fact the class is still open, so it must have not been a very popular choice. I had been planning on choosing Law and Education as my first choice, but 5 factors made me change my mind. I offer them only to provide insight into the elective-choosing process (and because I can't think of anything else to write about...) (1) The professor for the Environmental class is a visiting professor, so it's a one-time-only thing; the Education class appears to be taught most years; (2) I found an outline for the course, and it looked kind of boring (but they all do...); (3) I spoke to some people who took the course last year and they had pretty mediocre things to say; (4) It's an 8-hour take home exam and the other one's a 3-hour in-class. I like my exams short. Like my [looking for something to put here that's funny, but I can't think of anything. I'll come back to it. Or if this is funnier than whatever I'm going to think of, I'll just leave this bracket in]; (5) I heard too many people talking about the Education class as their first choice and was afraid I wouldn't get it and be stuck with my 8th choice. Which was Advanced Legal Research. No, I'm kidding. That would've been my 9th choice. My 8th choice was Health Care Advocacy. Which is probably as dismal as it sounds. Anyway, I'm pleased that I got my first choice and am looking forward to the International Environmental Law class. I took an Environmental Economics class in undergrad I really liked.

Here's a sketch I've been working on in my head. It's closer to the truth than one might like to believe.

"The Unprepared Professor"

[Lights up on a classroom filled with students. They're restless, looking at their watches, talking to each other. PROFESSOR runs in, harried look on his face. He stops at the front of the room and takes a deep breath. He bangs on the desk a few times to get people to be quiet. They get quiet.]

PROFESSOR
Sorry I'm late. I was working on something. Something more important than class. Sorry. [He looks around, a little confused.] Someone remind me... uh... what subject is this?

[He looks around the room, sees a few hands go up. He's at a loss for words.]

PROFESSOR
Let me get the seating chart.

[He pulls the seating chart out from under the desk.]

PROFESSOR
Mr. Silverberg.

[No response. The professor points in some general direction.]

PROFESSOR
Mr. Silverberg.

[From the other side of the room, a girl speaks.]

GIRL
You mean me? Ms. Silverman?

PROFESSOR
Yeah, sorry. Ms. Silverman.

GIRL
This is Property.

PROFESSOR
Yeah, yeah, now I remember. What case did we stop at last time?

GIRL
Rogers v. Big Empty Field.

PROFESSOR
On page...?

GIRL
372.

[Professor flips open his book. Looks at the page. Scratches his head. He has no idea.]

PROFESSOR
Uh... let's take twenty seconds to... uh... remind ourselves what the case is about. Everybody reread the case silently.

[He, like a man on a mission, speed-reads the page. Flips. Speed reads. Flips. Speed reads. He's going as fast as he can. But he realizes everyone's watching him. He looks at his seating chart.]

PROFESSOR
Ms. Chan?

[No response. He points in a general direction.]

PROFESSOR
Ms. Chan?

[From another part of the room, a guy talks]

GUY
You mean me? Mr. Cheng?

PROFESSOR
Yeah. [more confidently] Yes. Of course. Go ahead, Mr. Cheng.

GUY
Uh... go ahead with what? YOU called on ME.

PROFESSOR
Oh. Sorry. What was I.... Oh, yeah, the case. Uh, just for the benefit of -- uh -- your classmates... tell me -- I mean US -- the facts of the case, as if you were speking to someone who'd never read the casebook. Or any casebook. And who wasn't really paying attention but was instead thinking about how his wife was in a really crappy mood this morning because it's that time of the month and I forgot our anniversary and she found the love letter I sent to my secretary. The facts of the case, Mr. Choi.

GUY
Mr. Cheng.

PROFESSOR
Sure.

GUY
Uh... in this case, Rogers sued the government over the Big Empty Field he claimed he had won in the land auction. He sent a certified check to the Department of Land for seventeen thousand dollars, but then the National Guard attempted to evict him and his family.

PROFESSOR
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Could someone else repeat that? [He points.] You. You in the shirt and pants.

GIRL 2
Me?

PROFESSOR
Fine, whatever.

GIRL 2
Uh, he said that Rogers was suing --

PROFESSOR
I'm sorry, did someone call on you?

GIRL 2
Yeah, you did.

PROFESSOR
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

GIRL 2
Rogers was suing the government for--

PROFESSOR
And remind me what the question was that I asked.

GIRL 2
You just wanted me to repeat what he said.

PROFESSOR
Yeah, yeah, gotcha. Okay, go ahead.

GIRL 2
Okay. Rogers sued the government for--

PROFESSOR
You know, before we get to that, I'd like to see what everyone thinks about the decision in this case. This is a fascinating case, really. One of the few that, uh, the casebook editors decided to put in the casebook. So it must be important. I'd like to get a sense of what everyone thinks about it. You know, in your heart, not necessarily what the law is. Like you're talking to someone who has no idea what the law is. Why don't we just go around the room. Class is, what, an hour long?

[Guy calls out]

GUY
An hour and a half.

PROFESSOR
Well, we'll say today it's an hour. And there are 60 of you, so that's one minute each. We'll go around the room and everyone take one minute to say what you think about the decision. We'll start with you -- [he points to someone] -- whoever you are.

GUY 2
Well, I thought --

[Professor begins to head up the aisle and out of the room]

PROFESSOR
And while you guys do that, I'll be -- uh -- in my office working on some other stuff. Just leave whenever everyone's done or an hour is up... and I'm cancelling my office hours for later today. If you need to speak to me, uh, I'll be around sometime next week probably. Call my secretary at some point in the spring...

[Blackout.]