Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Monday, November 18, 2002

Something more funny (I hope) than my essay below on the summer job search. A sketch and song:

"1L Summer Job Hunt"

[Lights up outside Holmes Hall, nighttime. 6 students are bundled up in winter clothing, each wearing a backpack. Student 1 looks at his watch.]

Student 1: 11:59. Only one more minute till midnight.

Student 2: I can't wait.

Student 3: Yeah, I've been looking forward to this since September.

Student 4: Ten seconds.

[They count down together]

All students: 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - ZERO!

[They're very excited!]

Student 1: It's December First!!

Student 2: Now we can apply for summer jobs!!

Student 3: I'm so excited!

[They open their backpacks and pull out stacks of manila envelopes. One student tries to open to the door to Holmes, to get into the mail center.]

Student 4: It's locked!

Student 5: Don't worry! I stole the guy's key ring during lunch yesterday and made a copy! No one's gonna get their resumes to the firms before us!

[He starts to unlock the door.]

Student 2: How many envelopes have you got there?

Student 3: Sixty. How about you?

Student 2: Sixty-three.

Student 3: [trying not to show his disappointment] Well, this is only the first batch.

[Student 1 takes off his winter coat to reveal that he is wearing a suit.]

Student 6: Why are you wearing a suit?

Student 1: I have an interview with Milbank at 12:10.

Student 6: Tonight?

Student 1: Yeah. Unfortunately someone had already taken the midnight slot. I'd better run.

[Student 1 exits.]

Student 6: That sucks.

Student 4: Yeah. I'm really worried. My first interview isn't until tomorrow. After lunch.

Student 3: After lunch? But by then all the jobs will be taken.

Student 4: That's what I'm worried about.

[Student 2 pulls out his cell phone and starts dialing. He motions for everyone else to quiet down.]

Student 2: Shhh. I'm on the phone. [he talks into the phone] Yes. Shearman and Sterling? Hi. I'm a 1L at Harvard and I was wondering if I could set up an interview. [pause] Yes, I realize it's just after midnight. But it's December 1. [pause] I realize that. But it's the first day that 1Ls can try to get summer jobs, and so I figured. [pause] Oh, the hiring partner will give me a phone interview right now? That's great!

[As soon as the other students hear that, they all take out their phones and start dialing.]

Student 3: O'Melveny and Myers. Speed dial number 7.

Student 6: [into his phone] Hello? My grandfather is Mr. Cromwell.

Student 5: [into his phone] Do you have Mr. Cravath's home number? Yes, I realize it's late..

[Student 2 hangs up his phone, excited.]

Student 2: I got a callback! I've got to get to Logan to make the red-eye for my 4 AM interview!

[They all begin to sing // to the tune of: "Higher" by Creed]

When reading I'm dreaming 'bout another world
A world where I get paid
At sunrise I want to be at interviews
And talk about the law and all about myself
'Cause there's a hunger, a longing for the good life
Fulfilling all the dreams I've had since was four

I'll make partner
Then I'll find me a life
I will make partner
Then I'll buy me a wife

I can finally get hired
So my law career can start
I can finally get hired
Because I am really smart

It's easy when firms are falling over
To try and talk to second-years but I am not quite there
Cause first year, they say that it's a challenge
But I am gonna be the first one, who's hired for the year
First step towards the White House
And first step towards my future monarchy

I'll make partner
After my third heart attack
I will make partner
And buy my wife a new rack

I can finally get hired
At a firm where rates are high
I can finally get hired
Work like mad until I die

I'll make partner, partner
I will make partner
I will partner some day

In suits I feel like I'm alive for the very first time
With dictionaries, photocopies, Westlaw searches, lunches with the boss
All that I'm learning in FYL will soon pay off

I can finally get hired
Doors are opening, let me through
I can finally get hired
Legal research is what I'm meant to do
I can finally get hired
All my loans be reimbursed
I can finally get hired
Just after midnight, it's December first