Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

From the hypothetical press kit, for a hypothetical upcoming Broadway show, "Trent Lott: The Musical"

Born in Mississippi in 1941, the son of a sharecropper farmer turned shipyard worker and a school teacher, Trent Lott has lived a storybook life. That storybook, however, was written in 1825.

From the highest of highs -- serving as Senate majority leader -- to the lowest of lows -- forced to resign his leadership post and serve merely as Chairman of the Senate Rules Committee -- Trent Lott: The Musical tells a uniquely American tale of a man undone by the most tempting of all temptations, making a toast at a birthday
for a hundred-year-old man.

It's a story we've seen time and time again -- recall Thomas Jefferson, impeached from the presidency after saying "I never should have written that darn Declaration -- all hail the King of England" at Benjamin Franklin's 100th birthday party; recall Charlie Chaplin, buried alive after saying "the world would have been better off if we'd never added
sound to movies" at Bob Hope's 100th birthday party; and recall Derek Jeter, stripped of his World Series rings after saying "I wish I was on the Red Sox" at George Steinbrenner's 100th birthday party.

But none as riveting as the story of Senator Lott, who suffered not only the indignity of losing his Senate leadership post, but also of losing his spacious Capitol Hill office overlooking the Washington Monument in favor of a slightly less spacious office in the Hart Senate Office Building overlooking the Jefferson Memorial.

This uniquely American musical traces the rise of Trent Lott from a sharecropper's son, to Senate Majority Leader, to husband of actress Halle Berry. (Note that some details of Mr. Lott's life have been altered to enhance the drama)