It's hard to study at home. Much easier to surf the web, watch TV, and sleep. Yet I must persist. Or write another law-school-parodying song.

If the world went by the model penal code...
And if you were one day walking 'cross the road...
And a car came by and flattened you
Yes he roadkill-in-Manhattaned you
Then a prison sentence surely he'd be owed
If the world went by the model penal code...

If it turned out he was merely negligent...
And to hit you wasn't something that he meant...
If he simply hadn't hit the brake
It was just an innocent mistake
Then while it would surely be a felony
Negligent homicide is just a third degree

But if he was in fact a reckless reckless man
Driving even though the law didn't say he can
If he's blind and deaf and has no arms
And he caused you homicidal harms
And he thought he had a license; he did not
Then it's probably manslaughter what he's got

If he did purposely and knowingly commit
A gun that he done shot or wrist he slit
Then it's murder, murder first degree
He values life indifferently
And the inside of the jail will be his life
If he thought and deliberated -- then killed his wife

If the world went by the model penal code...
If the world went by the model penal code...
If the rules were set consistently
'Bout the different kinds of felony
Then at least what you were doing could be knowed
If the world went by the model penal code...