Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

More wordplay. I'm in the middle of studying civil procedure, so I thought I'd try a rhyming couplet for each of a bunch of Federal Rules. These are mostly pretty dumb I guess. Sorry.

Rule 8: Plead your facts plain and short
Or your case will be thrown out of court

9(b): If it's fraud, be complete
'Cause it's not nice to call one a cheat

11: Make sure paper's signed
Or you may well get yourself fined

12(b)(6): There isn't a claim
Your facts have no law to their name

12(e): If the pleading is vague
Like "that thing he sold gave me the Plague"

12(h): You might lose a defense
Malpractice suit's quite an expense

(13) Is asserting my counterclaim good?
If it's all one transaction you should

(14) If another guy's really the cheater
Then bring him in with an impleader

(15) My pleading's wrong! Can I amend?
If the trial judge is your best friend

(23) Tiny lawsuits don't bring satisfaction
But together they make a class action

(24) "Let me in!" she screamed, causing a scene
'Til the judge let the girl intervene

(26) Divorce case, so gifts from her lover
Are perfectly fair to discover

(28) Just subpoenas: I don't need permission
To take anyone's deposition

(32) If you've died since I had you deposed
Then I may present all you disclosed

(35) Are you insane enough to commit?
An exam: the court has to permit

(55) You may not have committed assault
But by staying home from court, you're in default

You may think that these couplets all suck
But in my head, all these rules are now stuck