Law School's Scariest Voice Mail Messages (these are fake -- I don't mean to imply there are people who actually have these messages -- I just think it's a funny concept...):

Two Weeks Before Exams:
[BEEP] Hi. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you. [BEEP]

One Week Before Exams:
[BEEP] No phone. Studying for exams. Leave a message. [BEEP]

Three Days Before Exams:
[BEEP] Library. Caffeine. AHHH! [BEEP]

One Day Before Exams:
[BEEP] Having nervous breakdown. Talk after exams. [BEEP]

During Exams:
[BEEP] What's wrong with you, calling me during an exam? Are you nuts? Do you want me to fail? Moron. (pause) If this is a potential summer employer, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. [BEEP]

After Exams:
[BEEP] Sleeping. Message. [BEEP]

After Getting Grades:
[BEEP] Was mad. Ripped phone out of wall. Voice mail not working. Don't bother leaving message. [BEEP]

...these could be so much funnier, I know... it's just not working this morning... maybe later I'll fix them and make them funny...