A parody song about law school grades. To the tune of "Sloop John B," called "Law School B." Note that I haven't received grades yet, so I have no real emotions to draw on yet. We'll call this "potential scenario #1."

I'm stuck with the Law School B
For overachievers like me
We blame the curve, but still the grade is too low
Studied all night
Thought I was bright
Well I feel so broke up
I want to go home

You see all the B-range grades
Still there's that sense of shame
Thought you could rise above
All of the rest, all of the rest
I wanna go home, yeah yeah
Well I feel so broke up
I wanna go home

The gunner, man he got drunk
Locked himself in his trunk
The white coat men, they came to take him away
All 'cause of that B
He got in Property, yeah yeah
Well he felt so broke up, and now he's gone home

The transcripts they all say B
Some of the worst say C
All of the students who hoped to make law review cry
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don't you let me go home
(Stuck with the law school B)
Stuck with the law school B
I feel so broke up I wanna go home
Let me go home

The justice's son was disowned
The one who got an A got stoned
Classmates all threw rocks at him cracking his head
Then he went home
Helping the curve for next time, yeah yeah
This is the worst grade a few ever saw

Let's all hold our B's up proud
Lowest grade the registrar's allowed
We pay tuition -- can't fail! So we all get Bs
Let me go home, let me go home
I wanna go home, let me go home
Why don't you let me go home