We have a pro bono requirement to graduate -- 40 hours of free work to help people. So here's a song about it.

[[to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music]]

“The Things You Can Do”

Save spotted owls,
From corporate pollution,
Innocent prisoners,
From wrong execution,
Help the old woman who lives in a shoe,
These are a few of the things you can do . . .

Rescue small children,
From parents who beat them,
Save all of the chickens,
From people who eat them,
“Stop Prisoner Rape,” real foundation, it’s true
These are a few of the things you can do. . .

Go to the Congo,
And fight some oppression,
Save Catholic youngsters,
From priests in confession,
Fight for an Gay Female Blind Asian Jew
These are a few of the things you can do. . .

When the rent’s due,
When the heat’s off,
Ramen’s all you eat,
Simply remember the good you can do,
And then getting paid… can’t compete….

Help rich white businessmen,
Lie to a jury
Poison the rivers,
Ohio, Missouri
Chop down big trees and turn ponies to glue
These are a few of the things you can do . . .

Kick pregnant women,
And squash people’s freedom
Choke peaceful animals
Then we can eat ‘em
Bring down the many
To raise up the few
These are a few of the things you can do

Fight to end hunger
By binging and purging
Help wealthy companies
Finish their merging,
Say it’s pro bono but let them pay you
These are a few of the things you can do. . .

When the rent’s due,
When the heat’s off,
Ramen’s all you eat,
Simply remember the good you can do,
And call up the firm… down the street.