Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Monday, April 07, 2003

In torts class, we've been talking about negligence. Hence, a song.

(to the tune of "Happiness" from "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown")


Is driving too quickly
Playing with firearms
Getting pets drunk

Is inciting pitbulls
Locking small children into your trunk

Negligence is keeping your gun closet door unlocked
And loaded, labeled "guns," and fully stocked

Is pizza with razors
French fries with hemlock
Keeping milk warm

Is an icy sidewalk
Cutting a ship loose during a storm

Negligence is tripping the elderly 'cause you can
Not acting like a reasonable man

Is an open fire,
A pet piranha too
Oh negligence is anything a prudent careful man
Would not do

Is a leaky faucet
Exposed asbestos
Spreading your lice

Negligence is eight-year-old kids flying private planes
and throwing broken glass from moving trains

Is "oops, I didn't mean that,
I should've checked that thing
For negligence, when people are, the victims of your acts
The suits they'll bring.