The moot court program here is called Ames. So, as promised, to the tune of the Backstreet Boys' "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," here's "I'm Losing Ames From The Start."

Judges... Ooh...
As I start to talk, I see
Your honors don't agree with me
My standard of review's all wrong
And your questions worse than I thought they'd be

And now I wish I could, turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
So I could read the facts, again, and the cases
I'm Losing Ames From The Start

I'm Losing Ames From The Start
I guess I'm just not that smart
I'm Losing Ames From The Start
I'm arguing the wrong part
My suit is falling apart
The judges just heard me fart [..rhymes are hard...]
I'm Losing Ames From The Start

I wrote my brief, but then
The details have escaped my head
Now they've got me pinned, to the wall
Any answer that I give, I am dead

And now I wish I could, turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
So I could try again, with a clue, maybe
I'm Losing Ames From The Start

I'm Losing Ames From The Start
I guess I'm just not that smart
I'm Losing Ames From The Start
I'm arguing the wrong part
My suit is falling apart
The judges just heard me fart
I'm Losing Ames From The Start

I'm losing Ames, baby, baby
The judges that I had were so strong
Their questions could go on, forever
Oh baby, baby
Argument is wrong, 15 minutes seemed so long

Baby, ooh..
I'm losing Ames...
Na, na, na... judges
Na na na na na naaah