Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Friday, April 04, 2003

What if professors only got tenure if lots of students signed up for their courses? Might they sing a song like this?

To the tune of "Be Our Guest" from "Beauty and the Beast"

"Choose my Class"

Choose my class!
Choose my class!
And I promise you will pass
Large enrollments get me tenure, please
Oh it'll be a gas

Come sign up
Here I am
And I'll cancel the exam
Skip the plaintiffs
And defendants
I won't even take attendance

I will dance
I will sing
For the stuff tenure will bring
So please come and help me reach critical mass

Go on and rank my course
I promise no remorse
Choose my class!
Choose my class!
Choose my class!

Want free food?
And free beer?
You sign up, I'll have them here
Need a break? I can make
Required readings disappear

I want you
And your friends
All before the sign-up ends
Won't be gloomy, no complaining
Cancel classes when it's raining

I tell jokes
I do tricks
Won't you help me with this fix
I need monster-sized enrollment
So I stay

And when I call on you
I don't care what you do
Choose my class!
And you'll pass
All the students I'll amass
Choose my class!
Choose my class!
Choose my class!