The water coming out of the sink in my dorm room this morning is brown. Like the cover of my civil procedure casebook. I know I've been in law school too long when everything reminds me of my casebooks.

By mid-morning, at least a half-dozen people in my building will already have filed a lawsuit against the housing office in response to the brown water, and by tomorrow, there'll be a new course offering scheduled for next semester, called "Dormitory Water Law." By next week, Johnnie Cochran will have been hired to defend the school ("What do the students have against *brown* water? This is discrimination at its worst."), and they'll eventually negotiate a settlement -- perhaps a free bottle of natural spring water and a new toothbrush. In a few years, there'll be a movie about it: "The Water Runs Brown" starring John Travolta as the prosecuting attorney, driven to ensure justice is served for the poor students, Julia Roberts as the crafty up-and-coming law student who never gives up the fight, and Tommy Lee Jones as the housing director, in search of the real culprit, the one-armed man with a bucket of food coloring.