Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Monday, June 09, 2003

[A fictional study group tale that was supposed to actually make sense, but just sort of degenerated into pointlessness. I'll have some actual words about study groups tomorrow, once I get this train of thought out of my system]

October 15, 2002

Dear Diary,

I can't believe it! One of the cool kids asked me to join his study group! I mean, it's not that I'm not cool. Especially here. Where nobody's cool. But in law school, like everywhere, there are the cool kids, and there are the not-that-cool kids. And it just sort of falls into place like that. I don't know if the cool kids here were cool before, or nobody here was cool before and they're just the coolest of the uncool. But anyway, it just seems to happen that one group of kids is cool, and the rest aren't. And everybody knows. But maybe I'm doing something right (or wrong, as the case may be) because there it was -- right below the e-mail about the resume workshop and above the e-mail about the overdue library book. The e-mail from the cool kid about joining his study group. Maybe it's that new shirt I bought last week. Or the new deodorant scent (switched from "Mountain Fresh" to "Valley Clean"). Or the twenty-five page outline I've already made that I happened to mention in conversation yesterday. No, it can't be the outline. It must be the new shirt. But boy am I excited. Because it's not just the cool kid who invited me -- the study group is filled with cool kids. There's the kid who only shows up to class on Wednesdays, "just because." Now what could be cooler than that? There's the kid who's always wearing the hat. Hats are super-cool. And there's the kid who's going out with the professor. The married professor. The married professor with the wrinkles and the cane. Now that's unbelievably cool. And it's the three of them, and me. So I must be cool too. Or at least cool by association. Maybe we'll all go do cool stuff besides studying. Like go get ice cream. Or hang out on a street corner without any real purpose. Or swipe study guides from the law school bookstore. Or graffiti the dorm building. I can't wait for our first meeting tomorrow at midnight. Midnight. I guess that's when cool people do their schoolwork.

October 17, 2002

Dear Diary,

I'm pretty tired. Only three hours of sleep. And my left arm is sore from the punching. They called it my "initiation," but if I didn't know better, I'd say they just wanted to beat me up. Study group is nothing like I imagined. So I got to the bar at midnight -- we met in a bar -- with my laptop, my outlines, and this great study guide I fashioned out of a roll of masking tape, three copies of Black's Law Dictionary, and some magic fairy dust. And the cool kids were late. Two of them showed up at about 12:30, kind of drunk, and looking like they'd been doing something naughty. I think one of them mentioned they carjacked an elderly man on the way over, just for kicks, but I'm not totally sure. They might have just been talking about one of the cases we're reading. The third guy -- the coolest one -- didn't show up at all. But I'm sure he had a good reason. Anyway, they didn't come as prepared as I did. They accidentally left their books at home. And their outlines were lost, they said. But I'm sure they'll send me a copy as soon as they find them. So first they took my study guide. We've decided to all share materials -- apparently that's what the good study groups do. Whatever one person makes, he has to give to everybody. But that's okay, because they're all really cool about it. I'm sure they would never make an outline and not share it with me. Unless they decided I wasn't cool enough. Anyway, then they said they had to initiate me into the study group. They took turns spitting on me and punching me in the arm. I guess this is what cool people do. And then they stole my pants. They're such cool guys. We're meeting tomorrow to talk about Contracts. Not until three in the morning, though.

October 19, 2002

The study group split up. Apparently I wasn't cool enough for them. We met yesterday, but only Jimmy showed up. He asked me if I wanted to hang out a little first, before we started studying. Of course I said yes. He asked if I could drive "getaway." It was pretty cool. Jimmy has an awesome car. A Lexus SUV. So we drove to the bank, and I waited outside. Jimmy came back a few minutes with a big bag. He told me to "step on it." But it turned out he meant the gas pedal, not the bag. Oops. And then he punched me a few more times and stole my laptop. I think my next study group is going to be with the uncool kids.