To the tune of Clay Aiken's "This Is The Night," here's "This Is The Firm"

[Bear in mind I'm not working for a firm this summer -- so this isn't about any specific firm, or anything like that...]

When I interviewed day and night
I was dreaming to find the one
Where could I go where a law firm could even be... fun?
When sometime deep in the night I could even be done?

Work me hard, 'til I die
Though I have no life there is nothing that I cannot buy
I've been waiting forever for this
This is the firm

When the answer to all my dreams
Is just one Lexis search away
I will be here till the day turns to night turns to day.

Work me hard, 'til I'm dead
But at least my parents can say that I'm striving ahead
Lose my friends, lose my mind
But my loans are paid and there's no take-out food I can't find
I've been waiting forever for this
This is the firm

This is the firm where we spend our best years and we end up a shell of ourselves
This is the firm where the work I'll do sends me to hell

Work me hard, kill my soul
Make me realize that giant paychecks can make me feel whole
Heart grows cold, mind grows numb
But the choice is one that is safe and will not be called dumb
I've been waiting forever for this
This is the firm