Attention summer associates! Working too hard and/or time billed at too high a rate to justify writing an e-mail to your friends letting them know how your summer is going? Then you need the summer update letter-o-rama. Just choose one from each set of bracketed terms in the template below, and you'll have fulfilled the burdens of summer contact without the work.

Dear [Friend / Classmate / Person I continue to e-mail only because someday you may be able to help me in my career]:

I'm having a great time here in [New York / DC / Farm Country] working for [Skadden / Cravath / "a great law firm"]. Of course, the pay has been great, as expected -- [$2500 / $2400 / $2600] a week, in case I hadn't already told you a bunch of times -- but what's really surprised me has been the [free food / free events / free office supplies]. Every day, a partner takes me out to a new [restaurant / strip club / body of water filled with dead animals poisoned by the toxic chemicals my firm has allowed one of its clients to continue dumping]. They're really trying to [impress / fool] me into thinking this is a great place to work. On one of my projects, I got to work with the [hip, young / wise, veteran / only minority] attorney in the office -- a real treat! We stayed up well into the night chatting about life, law school, and [his crack habit / her gobs of disposable income / the friends and hobbies he used to have]. I really think this could be the place for me -- it's like meeting a girl. One look at her [unlimited expense accounts / killer business cards / prestigious address] and you know it's right. I'm working right now on my dream project -- trying to help a company [evade taxes / avoid giving its workers health benefits / screw pretty much everyone on the planet in more ways than I can count]. I'm really trying to impress the [hip, young / wise, veteran / only minority] partner -- I think she's the key to my ultimate offer at the end of the summer. Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line. I [couldn't care less if / really don't care if / am completely uninterested in whether] you're having a great summer too -- drop me an e-mail and let me know [if you're making as much money as me / if your office is as nice as mine / if you've finally lost that pesky conscience that's always getting in your way] and we'll grab coffee [sometime next week / sometime next summer / not until you can help my career in some obvious and clear-cut way]. Enjoy [New York / DC / the back woods] and be sure [to watch out for ticks / to deposit your paychecks before your firm goes bankrupt / to check the to: field of your e-mail for heaven's sake!!].

Your [friend / classmate / occasional correspondent who you know just e-mails you so that one day you can help his career],

[You]