Received an e-mail with dormitory regulations for the upcoming year. Permit me the luxury of making fun of some of this stuff:

>PLEASE NOTE - ITEMS ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED IN DORM ROOMS: Pets, cooking appliances and halogen lamps (Also, firearms and dangerous weapons are not allowed on campus).

OK, so compared to pets, cooking appliances, and halogen lamps, FIREARMS and WEAPONS get placed in parentheses. NO FISH, and, by the way, just in case you were wondering, also maybe no nuclear missiles too...

>Your mailing address and telephone number was included in the confirmation for your dorm room. (Please save this information where you will not lose it and give the information to people who may wish to contact you).

Wait a second. You mean that if someone wants to contact us, we should give them our address and phone number? Really? And we should not just save it -- but save it specifically in a place where we won't lose it. OK, I think I understand now.

>Law School students bringing a car to campus compete with other graduate school students for parking spots.

Like in an Olympics? OK, now I'm just being a pain. There's really nothing wrong with this sentence, it's obvious what it means... but, on the other hand, it might be fun to have a parking spot Olympics with other graduate school students. We could have the rope-guarding-the-grass vault, and the library carrel hurdles, and the biathlon: reading combined with writing. That might be fun!