Sorry about the two days with no posts. Was away at a wedding with -- gasp -- no Internet access. Also sorry that East Coast radio stations appear to be obsessed with the Kelly Clarkson song, "Miss Independent." But at least that gives me a song to parody. Sort of. The title here is better than my parody.

"Missin' Defendant" (To the tune of "Miss Independent")

(Verse 1)
Missin' defendant
Frustrated lawyer
Summary judgment, mmm

Plaintiffs allege
A crime on the street
And missin' defendant arrested

Evidence shows
Maybe unclear
But lawyer can't do much if the client don't show

So, there he sits down at the table
Defendant don't answer her cell phone
Little miss plaintiff's lawyer
Says ooh, declare this done

(Chorus)
What is the judge going to do?
Where is defendant, where can she be
Why all your clients never show up
This ain't the first missin' defendant; maybe your lawyering's not effective
Going to jail, and lawyer you fail

(Verse 2)
Out on the street
Violates bail
Missin' defendant won't show up but police are out on her tail

But she miscalculated
She didn't wanna end up incarcerated
But this missin' defendant will end up in jail

But by showing you she didn't want you
She went in a new legal direction
And you've been fired, you've lost one more client
You've been disbarred

(Chorus)
What is the judge going to do?
Where is defendant, where can she be
Why all your clients never show up
This ain't the first missin' defendant; maybe your lawyering's not effective
Going to jail, and lawyer you fail


Also: an interesting article in this weekend's NY Times magazine about Baby Names. Not relevant to anything at all, but just kind of interesting, if you're bored.