"The Registrator" (to the tune of Billy Joel's "The Entertainer")

I am the registrator
And I say which class you're in
The schedule dictator
Some will lose and some will win
Perhaps I'll treat you kindly
Give the ones for which you strive
But a random whim and your life is grim
Cause you get a class you'll never pass
And it meets Friday at five

I am the registrator
I don't like you one bit
I have an extra syllable
If I cut it, it won't fit
Oh, they beg me to make changes
To switch the class around
Act like a jerk, but a bribe might work
Pass me dollar bills and the course that fills
A space may soon be found

I am the registrator
So when classes all conflict
It's just my way of having fun
With the choices I restrict
I don't know data entry
All the numbers go in wrong
So you do it right, but then late tonight
You log on and see that because of me
You're in a class you don't belong

I am the registrator
And you know it could be worse
This song could be much longer
But this is the last verse
You shouldn't get your hopes up
Your favorite course will close
And I'd like to help but I never help
I'm a bureaucrat; a poor one at that
And that's the way it goes.