Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Dear Harvard Law School 2L,

This personalized note that you and your classmates are all receiving is to let you know about a law firm that's "different" from all the rest. We'll be coming to campus to interview and host an informative reception (read: free food) in just a few weeks, and before we do, we wanted to send you some junk mail. While you may not be considering any firms in Des Moines, we think our firm is "different" enough that you'll change your mind. Unlike the other firms likely to be on your lists, we *do not act within the boundaries of the law.* At our firm, the law isn't a rule, it's a recommendation. We do whatever we can to help our clients regardless of whether or not any of the three branches of government have sanctioned that act. That means we supply free lunches and dinners for our associates each night, stolen from area restaurants. It means there are occasionally dead bodies in the bathroom. It means you don't pay taxes on your earnings -- and you're paid in cash. And it means your billable hour requirements bear no resemblance to the amount of time you actually work. In fact, we're the only Vault-ranked law firm that supplies our associates with handguns -- after just one year! Plus, our dress code is not only business casual, but we provide the mask! And a free car. With lasers.

Come and visit with us, either at our reception next month or at any one of the seventeen federal prisons around the country our partners are currently housed in. We hope to meet you soon!