Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Have a seat. How's interviewing going?"

"Pretty rough. No one seems to like me."

"Oh. Maybe this one will be different."

"Probably not."

"So, why did you choose to interview with this firm?"

"I knew I wanted to work in this particular city, or at least one of the cities near it, and I talked to a lot of people, and no one had anything bad to say about you."

"Great. Do you have any idea what kind of law you want to practice?"

"Yes. [X]."

"We don't do that here."

"But it says on your website--"

"We don't do that."


"I was looking at your resume--"

"Uh oh."

"--and I noticed you do a bunch of volunteer work. That's great. Must be hard to balance with the law school workload."

"Not really. I don't really do all that much. I didn't lie or anything, but maybe kind of exaggerated on the resume."

"Oh. Then tell me about what you did last summer."

"I didn't do all that much."

"No law firm job?"

"Couldn't get one. Tried really hard. No one would hire me."

"Any idea why?"

"Probably they called my references."

"Oh. Do you have a copy of those?"


"And a transcript?"

"Yeah. But before you look at that, I just want to let you know I'm really not as stupid as it seems."

"Is that right?"

"All of my professors misgraded my exams. Every grade on there should be higher. I should also be on law review but they misplaced my competition. And actually I'd be a multi-millionaire but I chose the wrong lottery numbers."

"Have you got a writing sample?"

"In English?"

"Yes, if you've got one."

"No, not in English."

"What language is it in?"

"I'm not sure. The website I got it from didn't say."

"Oh. Any questions about the firm."


"Excellent. Nice to meet you. We'll let you know."