Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

A-to-Z list of things you probably don't want to do at a callback interview...

Ask about the salary
Burp
Call the interviewer, "sweetheart." Especially if he's a man.
Drink from the company toilet
Eat too many free cookies and vomit on the interviewer's shoes
Fart
Grope the recruiter
Hire a doppelganger to pretend to be you
Iron your shirt while you're wearing it
Jump out the 33rd-floor window
Kick the interviewer. Hard.
Lie about your criminal
record

Murder someone
Never look him in the eye
Open your fly
Poison the interviewer's coffee
Quit -- even before getting the offer
Respond to all questions only with hand signals
Show up naked
Take your shoes off during the interviewer
Use lots of curse words
Vomit (see E, above)
Wash your tie -- ties don't like that (lesson learned)
X-ray your chest, and give the interviewer a copy when he asks for the resume (I'm stretching)
Yodel
Zip your fly. Or don't.