Another song parody:

“Big Firm” (to the tune of “Big Shot” by Billy Joel)

I went walking into the interview room
In my dad’s best navy blue suit
You had the nicest suite in the place
And the recruiter was cute
And when I sat down for the interview
It went so well
And you didn’t even look at my grades
You offered me a callback
And you told me how much I’ll get paid

Oh but you had to be a big firm, didn't you
The kind who’ll work me dawn till night
You had to be a big firm, didn't you
A little stuffy and uptight
You had to have all day face time
The fourteen year partner track
You had to have a sweatshop label
It had to be a big firm that night…

They were all impressed with my LSAT test
And the journal work I said that I did
And they didn’t uncover
The felony conviction I hid
They say they have free frozen yogurt
And a subsidized gym
And a dental plan that hasn’t a peer
But it’s three thousand hours
Or no bonus at the end of the year

Oh man you had to be a big firm, didn't you
The kind who’ll work me to the death
You had to be a big firm, didn't you
You better bill your every breath
You want to bill pro bono? No chance.
How ‘bout a document review
You have to put the job first, job last
It had to be a big firm, run fast…

Well the tobacco money’s gonna pay your rent
And the asbestos money’s buying your meals
And all the money they’re getting
From the mafia is buying you wheels

No, no, no, no, no, no, you had to be a big firm, didn't you
You want to squeeze the life from me
You had to be a big firm, didn't you
But what else goes with this degree?
You treat me like a king all summer
So much fun to practice law
And then you pull the rug out leaving
My friends and family grieving -- big firm, whoa…

You had to be a big firm, didn’t you?