Apparently, people who have a bunch of offers and take a while in making up their minds about which to accept start to get phone calls from the firms... just to check up.... Apparently that can start to get overwhelming. And then people start screening their calls and just letting them go to voice mail. My in-depth research has unearthed the following transcript of one such voice mail:

"Are you mad at me? You haven't returned my calls in over a week. Have I done something wrong? This is Chuck O'Donnell over at Grinn & Barrett down in DC. I know this is the ninth voicemail I've left this morning, but I just wanted to try and grab you before the sun came up.

I wanted to get a handle on how your decision process is going, and if there's any more questions I can answer to help you make your choice. I hope you got the t-shirt we sent that's completely the wrong size and the tin of brownies even though you're allergic to wheat. Also the expense reimbursement check. We added on a few dollars just to show our appreciation for you sending the form back to us so quickly.

I happened to be talking to a friend of mine over at Peezin Showers, down the street, and he mentioned how the international landfill division over there has been having some rough times, and that they've started to move people out of that department over to corporate. I know that was one of your areas of interest, and I don't mean to be talking trash about another firm, but it was just something I heard and thought I'd let you know.

Again, my offer to have you flown back down here for a weekend, to meet some more attorneys, see what we're like, try out our new copy machine - that's still definitely in play, and I can set that up for you with the travel department.

I understand that when you talked to Janice Franklin over in wills and trusts you expressed some concern about the location of the firm and whether it's as easy to get to as a place like Crapper that's right downtown. I talked to Alan Coleman over in buildings refinance and he said that if you take the offer, we'll actually move the firm over closer to the Metro if that's going to be the stumbling block that's keeping you from saying yes.

I wanted to reiterate that while our gas and electric group is relatively small, first- and second-year associates really do get a chance to do hands-on work, with client contact and all the rest of that stuff people say they want before they realize what it actually means. I can put you in touch with Jim Greenfield or any of the other partners down there in the basement and he can tell you more about that group.

I do understand that you were concerned about culture, especially with the layoffs last January and the conversion of the attorney game room into a supply closet - which does, incidentally, have the highest-quality paper clips in the city and perhaps the entire region. We've also been working with one of our clients to upgrade from the yellow post-it notes to the multicolored - I'd expect you'd see results from that ongoing negotiation even as early as this summer. I'd of course add you to the update list if you'd like to receive the e-mail progress reports we send out to the attorneys each week on that front. But back to the culture question, I'm really confident that the people we have here are here because they want to be here, and they enjoy their colleagues, the work, and the complimentary bagels on the third Friday of every quarter except when it falls on a weekend.

You'll work hard everywhere, but to know that you're working in a place with people, and with desks, and with doors on every office, is very important. Plus, as opposed to places like Boies Jackson Sleptwith, we have a top-notch health care plan!

I'm sorry to be taking up so much of your time, but I just wanted to remind you that we'd love to have you join us for the summer and hopefully beyond. Please give me a call back - you have my number. I look forward to talking with you soon."