Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Friday, November 21, 2003

Following up on my post below about the NY Times Magazine article on internet dating sites., the new law student dating site designed to help you find the man or woman of your objectively manifested intent (dreams are too subjective).

Step 1. Complete this quick and easy survey.

1. I am a (male / female / too much studying has made me forget) seeking a (male / female / whatever, I'm lonely, I just need human contact, any sort will do)

2. What type of relationship are you looking for?
(a) a marriage of mutual convenience -- mutual support as we both climb the ladder to managing partner
(b) something we'll both regret in the morning when we see each other in Con Law class

3. My ideal match:
(a) only speaks in class when called on, and hardly even then
(b) is a gunner

4. If you were a law school course, your name would be:
(a) Family Law
(b) Entertainment Law
(c) Criminal Law, with a focus on Rape

5. Your ideal first date:
(a) study group, you and me and practice exams from the last seven years
(b) a hot night of passion over Instant Messenger
(c) we'll hang out at a bar... -bri class

Step 2. Essays.

Essay 1. Describe yourself, citing at least five prominent cases.
(Example: I'm a 2L, originally from the defendant state in the Lawrence case. I enjoy eating the animal litigated in the Frigaliment case, went to undergrad at the school at issue in Grutter and Gratz, and have a rich uncle who has promised me an inheritance if I find a nice girl to marry, and stay away from drugs (see Hamer v. Sidway). I'm also looking forward to impregnating a girl and convincing her to have an abortion (Roe v. Wade), but not a partial birth abortion, although they are allowed (Stenberg v. Carhart).)

Essay 2. Write an issue-spotter featuring you, your date, and at least eight potential legal issues
(Example: John goes to pick up Sara at her parents' house. Her parents bought the house in 1972 from the owner of a set of six contiguous plots of land, each containing a house. When they purchased the house, they did not negotiate for use of the connecting driveway. The deed illustrates that the land purchased includes only half of the aforementioned driveway, yet Sara's parents have been using it for years without complaint. However, when John goes to pick up Sara, and crosses the driveway, neighbor Bob yells out the window of his house, demanding that John get off his land. Bob also bought his plot from the original owner, but he signed a covenant promising that there would be no blue cars ever on the property of anyone in the entire subdivision. Of course, John's car is blue. Sara's parents met in 1966 but have never married. In the state we are in, there is no common-law marriage rule, and property is divided 50/50 upon divorce. John is distracted by Bob's yelling, drives his car into the house, and runs over Sara's mother, Betty. Betty, who does not have a living will, is transported by helicopter to County Hospital. On the way to the hospital, the helicopter passes over a highway where Frank, drunk and known to have seizures, is driving home. Ten minutes prior, he picked up a hitchhiker at the side of the road, who wears thick glasses. As the helicopter passes over the highway, Frank steals the hitchhiker's glasses and throws the hitchhiker out of the car. The helicopter crashes, killing the hitchhiker, Betty's mom, and the helicopter pilot, who mailed his health insurance premium yesterday, but it has not yet been received by his insurance company. Meanwhile, Sara's father, who is in this country illegally, is detained by the police and sent to a camp outside the United States but under American control. John offers Sara a tranquilizer to calm her down from all of this commotion, and while she is in a state of semi-consciousness, he induces her to transfer to him one hundred bushels of wheat at 14 cents per bushel, at a date set three months in the future. Sometime between Tuesday at 10 PM and Wednesday at 2 AM (exact time is uncertain, although a videotape that was recovered through the use of an undercover informant may provide more information) a tornado causes wheat prices to rise dramatically (as well as destroying John's blue car, which has an insurance policy that reads, "acts of natural disaster will be covered only if they happen on Tuesdays), and John seeks to enforce the agreement. The date ends with a kiss.)

Essay 3. Describe your LSAT score in 200 words or less.

Step 3. Submit a transcript, writing sample, and three references. A member of the staff will contact you soon if you have been selected for an on-campus interview.