Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

We received an e-mail from the law school dean, that said in part:

"We wanted to let you know that the Law School's Physical Planning Committee is undertaking a feasibility study to explore the possibility of renovating [the student center]... [which is currently] in our view, is a woefully inadequate facility. ...[T]he public spaces in the [student center] can be dramatically improved in appearance, lighting, layout, and functionality. Our students, and our community more broadly, deserve a better facility."

The e-mail asked for students to send their thoughts to the Planning Committee. But wouldn't they have been more likely to receive a response if they used a friendly multiple-choice questionnaire like this one??

1. I visit the student center:
(a) every day, so that I am able to, in comparison, more fully appreciate the lighting and layout of my 118-square-foot apartment or dorm room when I go home.
(b) only when there's a special event, like a student organization deciding that the student center is the best place for them to hold a party, or the weekly "Turkey Monday" lunches that both foreshadow and recall happy Thanksgivings past and future.
(c) when I'm desperate to go the bathroom, but don't want to use a clean one.
(d) to check my mail once a semester and throw out the fourteen advertisements for class rings, seven flyers regarding the "early-bird discounts" on ordering a yearbook, five firm recruiting brochures, three pieces of melted candy a journal threw in my box to thank me for checking footnotes for an hour last October, and a printed "backup copy" of an e-mail someone sent me six weeks ago.

2. My favorite part of the student center is:
(a) the pool table with 12 balls.
(b) the handicapped doors.
(c) Bill, the guy who stuffs the mailboxes with class ring advertisements four times a week.
(d) the smell.

3. My least favorite part of the student center is:
(a) its colorful brown color scheme.
(b) the message board featuring one hundred and forty-three flyers in an 8X11 inch space, all stapled one on top of the other.
(c) the permanent stack of Harvard Magazine from three years ago.
(d) the "summer job evaluations" collections box.

4. When I meet my friends in the student center, we:
(a) leave as soon as possible.
(b) take pleasure in recycling the stacks and stacks of class ring advertisements we find in our mailboxes.
(c) enjoy relaxing on one of the comfortable counters and tables that can also serve as temporary seating.
(d) share a day-old doughnut from the cafeteria.

5. If I was going to build a new student center, I'd make sure it had:
(a) a food vendor that wasn't managed by an institutional bureaucracy.
(b) walls that weren't brown.
(c) space for flyers, newspapers, and advertisements to all coexist peacefully and in user-friendly ways.
(d) a bulletin board summarizing all of the upcoming law school events.
(e) meeting rooms.
(f) free cookies.