Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Apologies to non-baseball fans for this one. According to the NY Daily News, the Mets may pursue pitcher Miguel Batista:

Instead, the Mets have spoken multiple times with Miguel Batista's agent... it's likely he would fall within the Mets' price range. Batista - who writes poetry and kept a picture of Albert Einstein in his locker - is also the good-in-the-clubhouse type the Mets typically like.

I've read articles before that mentioned Batista being unusually learned for a baseball player, or something like that. Actually, I'd like to read some of his poetry. In the alternative, I can just make some up of my own:

Selections from "The Bad Haiku Journals of Major League Baseball Players"

(Pedro Martinez)
Come closer, bald man
Let me throw you to the ground
And lose the Series

(Greg Maddux)
Eleven long years
And they've cut me loose like this
Arbitration. Sigh.

(Vladimir Guerrero)
Offer me contract
Someone, please, I'm really good!
No, I really am!

(Jesse Orosco)
I've found the secret
Of playing ball forever
One fastball a week

(Curt Schilling)
I don't want a trade
How I love my no-trade clause
Oh please please trade me

(Mo Vaughn)
A baseball is round
I am pretty much round too
I eat round baseballs