Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR LAW PROFESSORS:

"No more telling students my office hours are at a certain time and then purposely not showing up just to frustrate them."

"I will not steal any more exam questions off random law-related websites."

"No more eating beans and drinking prune juice right before class."

"I will actually plan my lectures in advance this semester instead of just making stuff up as I go along."

"No more letting my three-year-old daughter grade my exams for me, except when I'm really tired."

"I will stop lying to my class about the holdings of cases, even though it's a lot of fun."

"No more LSD."

"I will make an effort to learn my students' names, at least the ones I like."

"No more purposely excluding certain pages from reading assignments and then testing on them later."

"I will not just assign my own books because I want to get the royalties when they're not in any way relevant to the class materials."

"No more removing the copies of all relevant study materials from the library and hiding them under my desk so no one can find them."

"I will show up on time usually sometimes, or at least not too late."

"No more jokes about the handicapped."

"I will shower before class so the students in the front row don't get nauseous."

"No more dating the students, except for the really hot ones."

"I will try to keep my political opinions to myself, or at least not grade the exams too much based on whether or not the students agree with me, unless it's an issue I really care about."

"No more telling the students how much money I make and then laughing."

"I will not write the syllabus while high on amphetamines."

"No more using the final exam as a chance to get a hundred free papers from students relevant to the outside consulting work I'm doing."

"I will stop making New Years resolutions I know I can't keep."