Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Notes on Paris:

1. Waiting for the bus, a woman propped her bag up on the garbage can. Went through her bag for something, found a piece of paper, a receipt or something, threw it on the ground. She literally had to make an effort to do that. Had she dropped it, it would have gone in the garbage can. My cousin said that's a good illustration of what French people are like.

2. If you pay 3.50 Euros at the Eiffel Tower, you can climb to the 2nd deck, and then take the elevator up to the top. For 6.50 Euros you can ride all the way up. I'm cheap. But here's what they don't tell you: 800 steps. Eight Hundred. Burned off a crepe or two, I hope.

3. Entree does not have anything to do with food.

4. If you want to know about Pablo Picasso, visit the Picasso Museum. It should be called the Picasso Stalkers Museum. Every letter he ever wrote or received, every doodle on the back of an envelope, every train ticket stub, daily calendars, shopping lists, newspaper clippings he had saved, dirty plates with half-eaten meals (kidding but only about that last one). Every picture of him anybody ever took. Insane! Who could possibly want to know all this. They have a newspaper clipping he cut into a funny shape probably out of boredom. On displaty as a "decouppage." They label each doodle with the type of pen he used! "Picture of an eye, Bic medium." I guess they had to justify the $6 admission.

5. I have a strange compulsion to try French sushi. Looks so out of place next to the four billion patisseries, boulangeries, and charcuteries. I have no idea what any of those words mean. But they're all over the place.

6. The picture on the train instructing on how to move the handle and open the door looks like a picture of a man reaching for his detached penis.

7. I figured out that I can judge whether or not I'm in a tourist area by the price of street crepes. At under $2 (I'm converting from Euros for you), I'm probably okay. At $3 or more, I just need to look at my map and figure out whether I've wandered back toward the Louvre again. s tehe price reached $4 in one spot, I found myself at what could best be called "The Overpriced Tourist Bazaar," a collection of wooden booths (think fleamarket stands only nicer) selling all sorts of crap no one would ever need. Small figurines, fancy scarves, foie gras, bads and necklaces, pretty hand-carved silverware, wooden airplane toys, more foie gras, crystal dishware and vases, marzipan fruits, wooden clarinets, costume jewelry, pashmina, "I Love The Louvre" t-shirts, $4 crepes, and more foie gras. I love to watch people spending money on useless things they don't need. Meanwhile, I wasted $2 because I had to buy a second metro token after I screwed up the first time and got stuck in the turnstile.

8. Doors here push when they should pull. If a crowded patisserie catches fire, no one's getting out alive. Don't say I didn't warn you.