Excerpts from New Hampshire Victory Speeches
John Kerry: "I love New Hampshire -- and I love Iowa too! And hopefully I'll be making passionate whoopee to the people of South Carolina, and giving a back massage to Michigan, and french kissing Oklahoma, and feeling up Wisconsin. I have a message for the influence peddlers, and the husbands of some of these frisky states. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
Howard Dean: "If you had told me two weeks ago I was going to finish second in New Hampshire, I would have shot you in the chest and left you for dead. But it's not over yet. I'm going to South Carolina. And North Carolina. And East Carolina. And West Carolina. And John Kerry -- do you know where you're going? I know where you're going..."
John Edwards: "There's an America for the people who can afford health care, and there's an America for the rest of us. There's an America for the people who can afford fluoride toothpaste, and there's an America for the rest of us. There's an America for the people who can afford some sort of plastic surgery that makes a 50-year-old presidential candidate look like he's about 35, without a wrinkle or a gray hair, and then there's an America for the rest of... you...."
Joe Lieberman: "The pundits got it wrong! The newspaper had pictures of four candidates on the cover this morning, but not me. But what they didn't count on was that I'd finish in this 5-way tie for first tonight. That's right. The people of New Hampshire have spoken, and it's a split decision. We're in a 5-way tie for first, and we're going on."
Wesley Clark: "I came into New Hampshire as a member of the Elite Eight, and I'm leaving as a member of the Frustrated Five, everyone except for John Kerry, who seems to be winning. But he was a lieutenant, and I was a general. And I order him to Stop Winning Primaries! Now!"
Dennis Kucinich: "The pundits got it wrong! The people of New Hampshire have spoken, and it's a split decision. We're in a 6-way tie for first, and we're going on!"
[I originally posted this last night at En Banc]
John Kerry: "I love New Hampshire -- and I love Iowa too! And hopefully I'll be making passionate whoopee to the people of South Carolina, and giving a back massage to Michigan, and french kissing Oklahoma, and feeling up Wisconsin. I have a message for the influence peddlers, and the husbands of some of these frisky states. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
Howard Dean: "If you had told me two weeks ago I was going to finish second in New Hampshire, I would have shot you in the chest and left you for dead. But it's not over yet. I'm going to South Carolina. And North Carolina. And East Carolina. And West Carolina. And John Kerry -- do you know where you're going? I know where you're going..."
John Edwards: "There's an America for the people who can afford health care, and there's an America for the rest of us. There's an America for the people who can afford fluoride toothpaste, and there's an America for the rest of us. There's an America for the people who can afford some sort of plastic surgery that makes a 50-year-old presidential candidate look like he's about 35, without a wrinkle or a gray hair, and then there's an America for the rest of... you...."
Joe Lieberman: "The pundits got it wrong! The newspaper had pictures of four candidates on the cover this morning, but not me. But what they didn't count on was that I'd finish in this 5-way tie for first tonight. That's right. The people of New Hampshire have spoken, and it's a split decision. We're in a 5-way tie for first, and we're going on."
Wesley Clark: "I came into New Hampshire as a member of the Elite Eight, and I'm leaving as a member of the Frustrated Five, everyone except for John Kerry, who seems to be winning. But he was a lieutenant, and I was a general. And I order him to Stop Winning Primaries! Now!"
Dennis Kucinich: "The pundits got it wrong! The people of New Hampshire have spoken, and it's a split decision. We're in a 6-way tie for first, and we're going on!"
[I originally posted this last night at En Banc]
posted by Anonymous @ 9:44 AM
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