THIS JUST IN: John Kerry has won the Iowa caucus.

Oh. We're up to New Hampshire now? Oh. I'd better refresh the web page. Oh. There we go.

THIS JUST IN: John Kerry has won the New Hampshire primary. Dean places second.

Dean's concession speech:

"If you had told me a week ago I was going to finish second in New Hampshire, I would have strangled you and then shot myself. But it's not over yet. We're going to South Carolina. And Washington. And Michigan. And South Dakota. And North Dakota. And Pennsylvania. And then I'm going to prison for killing a man. Bleh!"

Stupidity of the moment:
I'm watching John Kerry's victory speech on Fox News. He was introduced by Jeanne Shaheen, the governor (or former governor, I have no idea) of New Hampshire, who said that her TWO YEAR OLD granddaughter calls John Kerry "The Real Deal." Right. And there's really a Tooth Fairy.