In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd re-post this Civil Procedure Love Song I wrote last year. Enjoy.

"You Have Jurisdiction over Me"

(The guy sings)

In civil procedure, I sit next to you
And stare at you from your head to your International Shoe
You made my heart skip a beat when your Long Arm touched my casebook
I stared at your picture for three hours in my facebook

And though you're from a different land
I hope you'll give me your hand
So I can serve you process
I want to purposely avail
Of what makes you that one female
No matter what the law says

This is procedure, not contracts
And we have minimum contacts
So despite our diversity
In your court is where I want to be
You have jurisdiction over me

(The girl sings)

In civil procedure you sit next to me
And yours is the only laptop I ever need to see
Watching you play solitaire has shown me what real lust is
If we're not together it won't be substantial justice

You are the one guy in this school
Who'd make me break a fed'ral rule
Don't 12-b-6 dismiss me
You look at me and my heart skips
The venue's here on my two lips
You see, I'm asking you to kiss me

This is procedure, not contracts
And we have minimum contacts
So despite our diversity
In your court is where I want to be
You have jurisdiction over me

(They sing together)

We've satisfied International Shoe
And my Erie choice of law is you
And though the federal question's unclear
It's worth more than seventy-five thousand dollars
To have you here

This is procedure, not contracts
And we have minimum contacts
So despite our diversity
In your court is where I want to be
You have jurisdiction over me