To the tune of the Burt Bacharach classic (and American Idol group-sing staple), "Do You Know the Way To San Jose?" And this probably came out a little mean, but rhyming is hard. I don't really mean it. Sorry.

"Do You Know That Gunner's GPA?"

Do you know that gunner's GPA?
I hope it's 2.0, or something low and not OK.
Do you know that gunner's GPA?
Why can't he just sit still, I hope he will, die a gruesome way.

Sure, the lectures can be boring
But they're worse when front-row gunner speaks
Every day, maybe twice, for thirteen weeks
Words turn into paragraphs he spews
With fancy words he doesn't know
And sprinkled with offensive views

Do you know that gunner's GPA?
I hope it's 2.0, or something low and not OK.
Do you know that gunner's GPA?
Why can't he just sit still, I hope he will, die a gruesome way.

Once or twice a week is fine, but
Seven times an hour is too much
Maybe one day he'll choke on his lunch
And he sounds so smug and self-absorbed
And there you sit and roll your eyes
You never thought you'd be so bored

Do you know that gunner's GPA?
I hope it's 2.0, or something low and not OK.
Do you know that gunner's GPA?
Why can't he just sit still, I hope he will, die a gruesome way.