Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

It's request day. See below.

Request #3 comes from Matt, who asks for "I want you to write [an entry] entitled "If I Ran the Harvard Law School," in the spirit of Dr. Seuss's "If I Ran the Zoo" and "If I Ran the Circus." Do it in Seussian rhyme, and tell us what you would change about HLS if you were suddenly made Dean."

Well, I asked for it, so I guess I can't complain. I'll do my best, or at least my best given that I'm hungry and want to go eat some lunch pretty soon.

If I Ran The Harvard Law School

If I ran the Harvard Law School
There would not be any grades
All the dorms would be gigantic
And be cleaned by comely maids
All the classes would be shorter
And there'd always be free snacks
There would be no class required
And we would not offer Tax
My admissions process revamp
Would include an interview
The tuition would be lowered
The school year would be shortened too
All the faculty with tenure
Would have no more guarantees
I would hasten global warming
So the winters would not freeze
I would mandate legal ethics
I would kill the law review
I would paint the buildings colors
Maybe yellow, maybe blue
I would make the dining service
Something edible, at least
And each year, on some day special
There would be a giant feast
Where the faculty would mingle
With the students and the staff
We would be one happy family
God forbid, someone might laugh
I would banish all the law firms
There would be no jobs to seek
But if course if I did that
We would be closed within a week.