Waddling Thunder writes about professor evalutions. He actually writes something serious about them. I, on the other hand, will not. Thus:

Proposal for New Law Professor Evaluation Form

On a scale of 1 to 5, rank the professor's ability to...

...Control the lights and window shades with the appropriate switches and dials
...Wear a microphone without causing either feedback or fire
...Make the audiovisual equipment work within the class session it was intended to be used
...Learn student names
...At least fake it by glancing quickly at the seating chart instead of repeatedly calling on students by the wrong name
...Keep track of hypotheticals posed
...Pretend he has not given the lecture twenty-seven times previous
...Notice when a student has raised his hand
...Keep the class awake
...Cover each session's assigned reading in that session
...Deliver pre-prepared jokes so as to produce genuine laughter
...Drop hints about exam questions veiled enough so that the students paying no attention miss them but not so much that the students really paying attention don't
...Notice which students are playing solitaire and calling on them repeatedly for the amusement of the rest of the class
...Bully the gunners into acting civil and polite
...Admit when he does not know the answer to something
...Prepare for class enough that he doesn't know the answer relatively infrequently
...Answer the question asked, and not the question he thought was being asked when he interrupted the student halfway through
...End class on time
...Provide enough time to fill out the professor evaluations