The assignment for tomorrow's session of the mostly-worthless-but-at-least-it-gets-me-writing-although-I-kind-of-write-anyway sketch-writing workshop I'm doing on Monday nights is two-fold: (1) the most vulgar sketch you can write, and (2) a couple of blackout sketches. I haven't tackled (1) yet. I think it's a pretty useless assignment. I'm figuring I'll knock something out at work tomorrow. For (2), some brief explanation: a blackout is a very short scene that ends on a twist. Like the commercial where people are making out in the backseat of a car and then it's revealed it's not kids but actually their parents. Ooh. Blackout. It's called a blackout because you reveal the punchline and then, bam, the lights go down. They're often pun-related, or just one joke that doesn't have anywhere to go, or just something corny or silly or stupid. Here's two. They're not thrilling. I'm not that inspired. I may try to come up with some better ones tomorrow at work.

1. 2 Guys at a restaurant table. Very attractive foreign woman is taking their order in broken English... "Yes, ze Shish Kebab, very good...." She starts to walk away. Guy 1: "She's hot." Guy 2: "Yeah, and I know the one word to say to get her to come running." Guy 1: "Yeah, what's that?" Guy 2: "Deportation." Blackout.

2. I think I posted a variation of this in prose the other day. Commercial parody. "For all the carbs you'll get in this one piece of bread, you can have fourteen plates of fatty bacon." Man walks by. "I choose the bacon." And grabs the fourteen plates. Blackout.

See, not that thrilling. My posts yesterday were better.