Fifteen Law Firm Rankings American Lawyer Is Working On For Its Next Issue

1. Average evening time of departure
2. Time to ground if leaping from windows
3. Size of hard drives
4. Complexity of telephone system
5. Number of cups of coffee consumed per day per attorney
6. Percent of people who wash their hands after using the bathroom
7. Amount of firm-wide administrative e-mail sent
8. Average age of xerox machines
9. Ratio of people taking the elevator to people taking the stairs
10. Elite preschool acceptance rate for children of partners
11. Boxes of paper clips per person
12. Pixel quality of photos in the online facebook
13. Quality of provisions in emergency supplies kit
14. Alcohol consumption, weekdays vs. weekends
15. Amount spent on the summer program (in millions, for space reasons)