Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

An Open Letter from a Summer Associate to a Law Firm Partner, Part II

Dear Law Firm Partner,

Thank you for indulging my irrational fear of the letter Q by not staffing me on the Qualcomm case, letting me miss our trip to see the Tony Award-winning Broadway musical "Avenue Q," and not telling me to be Quiet when I accidentally screamed obscenities at your secretary while in your office listening in on the conference call. While it was not my fault that she put two sugars in my coffee when I clearly asked for one, I should have found a better way to deal with it than by calling her a cow. It was my mistake, and I assure you it will not happen an excessively large number of times in the future.

Thank you for telling me I didn't have to wear a suit to court, even though you were obviously kidding and I knew that and decided to pretend you were serious anyway, because I really didn't want to wear a suit. I know it was awkward for us to meet down at the courthouse, you in your suit and me in a gorilla costume, but I'm sure the judge understood. I was only trying to be amusing. How was I supposed to know that our client's wife was eaten by a gorilla? Or that the court reporter was a very hairy man who would think I was his long-lost brother? It was all an unfortunate misunderstanding, and I completely agreed with you when you suggested afterwards that I might want to avoid going to court anymore this summer.

Thank you for not telling anyone I have genital warts. It was probably an inappropriate thing to share with you during the client meeting, but it seemed relevant at the time. It was only afterwards when I realized the client had said he liked "sports," not "warts." My mistake.

Also, once again, thank you for paying me.

Your friend,
Summer Associate