Top Ten Signs You've Been A Lawyer Too Long
(Thanks to Andrew for the idea and for #2 on the list)

10. You're planning on watching 0.8 hours of TV tonight followed by 1.2 hours of pleasurable reading
9. You refer to an orgy as a three-prong test (maybe not)
8. You tell your parents they can no longer tell you what to do because you're in a different jurisdiction
7. You borrow your neighbor's lawnmower with an securitized loan
6. "I'll take 4 tickets to the Yankees game, on contingency. They win, I'll pay."
5. Your son's allowance dispute arbitration is scheduled for next Thursday at 9
4. You perform due diligence on your restaurant takeout menus to get rid of the duplicates
3. For others it's shoplifting, for you it's a hostile takeover
2. Your trash talk repertoire includes the line, "You are my wholly-owned subsidiary"
1. "I love you, subject to the terms and conditions in schedule A"