I was looking at a take-out menu this morning (reading material is running short I guess) for a place called "Not Just Chicken," whose food I've never tried and don't plan to. Under Chicken Nuggets, it said, in quotes, "We've Been All White Meat Since 1988!" Well, lucky us! What did these chicken nuggets look like before 1988?? Other ridiculous items on the menu: "Extra Jumbo Melted Cheese -- for Cheese Lovers!" "Bucket of "Wet Style" Buffalo Wings." "Wet style?" Are they wet, or are they not? Are they dry, but pretending to be wet? Is this like "leather-style seating" that isn't really leather? And why do you need buffalo wings to be wet anyway? If they could make them dry, wouldn't they be less messy and therefore easier to eat? I'm not a buffalo wing expert so I may be missing something. There's a whole section of the menu titled "Appetizers and Melted Cheese," as if melted cheese is some sort of food category unto itself.

I'm going to the Mets-Yankees game today. My mom got tickets a while back. On Friday, the law firm said it had some tickets to give away. Which makes my tickets somehow feel less special.

Ten Rejected Names for Fireworks
1. Gravestone Flyer
2. Fingers-b-gone
3. The Intestinator
4. Red, white, and more red, mostly blood
5. Maiming Rocket
6. Oops, I Lost A Hand!
7. The Dismemberer
8. Green Bile Shooter
9. Emergency Roominator
10. All the Colors of the Rainbow That Will Be In The Sky On The Day of Your Funeral