Four Marginally-Amusing (but really only marginally) Ways to Know Summer's Almost Over

1. "Back-to-school" sales everywhere you turn. Everywhere. Why does a liquor store need a back to school sale? Isn't that sending the wrong message? The NBA store, in Manhattan, has a "back to school" sale -- did anyone in the NBA even finish high school (I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, please don't think I really mean that)? I think I saw a sheet of coupons that said the supermarket has a back to school sale. Why? I happen to eat all year round.

2. Commercials for new TV shows. Last Comic Standing 3. Thrilling. Joey. No thanks. The commercials for Joey aren't even funny. People'll watch, but will it be worth it? Is anything on TV even worth it anymore? Is anyone actually looking forward to the 19th season of Survivor, or whatever they're up to. How about Blind Survivor. See how long they can last on a very small island surrounded by shark infested water. I'd watch that.

3. Spam advertising "lose weight for summer" has been switched to "gain body fat for winter" ads. Both are equally successful at getting clickthroughs.

4. Every magazine in the universe has a Fall Preview-of-something issue. Fall Movie Preview, Fall Music Preview, Fall Fashion Preview, Fall Pollen Preview ("Allergy Digest"), Fall Fall Preview ("AARP Magazine"). Etc.