Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

See the post below. I can't promise a song parody and then not deliver...

"Clerkin' USA" (to the tune of the Beach Boys' "Surfin' USA")

As all my classmates wait in chambers
Across the USA
D.C. and Guam and Puerto Rico
And Californ-i-a
The circuit courts are more prestigious
But district court's okay
Don't tell the judge he's kinda drooling
Clerkin' USA

You sent out 1400 letters
Personalized a bit
You hoped that someone who liked bocci'd
See yours and say, "that's it!"
Someone who went to the same preschool
As your aunt's valet
Everybody’s gone clerkin’
Clerkin' USA

Just bought a $700 ticket
Get me to New Orleans
Then on a bus to Kansas City
Then flying up to Queens
I'm gonna miss all of my classes
And what's more loans to pay?
Tell the teacher I’m clerkin'
Clerkin' USA

The judge just looked me over
He didn't say a word
He's got three offers on the table
At least that's what I heard
The one I ranked way at the bottom
Loves me -- to my dismay
Is that where I'll be goin' clerkin’
Clerkin' USA

I called the judge I've always dreamed of
Told him I have an hour
Please save me from a year in Boise
You have enormous power
I told him I would buy his lunches
A foot massage each day
And so now I'm going clerkin'
Clerkin' USA

Everybody's goin' clerkin'
Clerkin' USA