So... Conan O'Brien is taking over for Jay Leno in 2009. I've got a sneak peek at some of his monologue for the first night of his new broadcast.

"The War in Iraq continued today with more of the latest in holographic missile technology. Secretary of Defense Justin Timberlake has ordered continuing strikes on the Iraqi capital."

"The number one TV show in the country last night, once again, was the season premiere of 'Joey," now in its 6th season. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry, that's been off the air for five-and-a-half years. The actual number one TV show was the newest reality show from Fox, 'Who wants to eat his brother's internal organs?'"

"The Mets will once again finish the season in last place. This is not a joke."

"Bush and Clinton were seen at lunch today mending the wounds from their 2008 Presidential contest. Jeb and Hillary, that is."

"Michael Jordan is reportedly interested in making another comeback. Again, not a joke."

"Global warming. Wow. Hot today."

"Isn't one of the Supreme Court justices going to die already?"

"Did anyone see those 'Swift Boat Veterans for Michael Jackson' ads last night? They're really keeping busy, aren't they?"