JD2B links to the American Lawyer Summer Associate Rankings. These read like teacher evaluations -- on a 5-point scale, none of the 159 firms ranked has an overall score below 4. This is crazy. It tells someone nothing. One bad review -- one score of 1 by one unhappy summer associate -- can plunge a firm dozens of places in the rankings. That's stupid. They either need different questions, more assurance that it's anonymous, or some other way of obtaining information, because there's no way that every firm is awesome. Some of them must be better than others by more than a fraction of a point on a 5-point scale. 4.5 cannot be average. It just means the scale is wrong. If everyone loves their summer jobs, then, still, some people must love them more than others. There's very little value in reading the results of this survey, and American Lawyer should feel stupid for bothering, because it's basically just measuring how well each firm convinced its summers to fill out the form well.
Okay, there's one tiny kernel of value. The firm-by-firm rankings have a bit of prose in terms of stuff that's good about the firm and stuff that's bad, I assume taken from the aggregate responses, but probably just from the 1 form where someone bothered to leave a comment instead of just doing the multiple choice stuff. So, again, I'm not sure how much credence to give this stuff. I browsed for interesting comments. Here's the best ones I found. (In other words, this is the Cliffs Notes to the summer associate survey, so you don't have to slog through it.)
Akin Gump:
Most memorable experience: Social events.
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: A few less social events.
This is so helpful, isn't it? Come on, American Lawyer. And I'm not even going to dwell on less/fewer. I hope the firm reads this as "a few events that are less social," so they have a solitaire tournament, or a solo kayak competition, or something like that next year. Nevermind, I'm being stupid.
Allen & Overy:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Communicate better on the nature of the work offered.
This sounds kind of substantive. Did the firm tell someone they'd be doing one thing and then totally bait-and-switch? "Uh, yeah, you who wants to do public interest -- you're going to be defending Burma in this human rights case."
Alston & Bird:
How they would describe the firm to other law students: A fun place to work with people who enjoy working with young lawyers.
Pedophiles.
Baker Botts:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Change the overall tone of the firm: make it less formal, more fun, and not as dour.
Wow. Less fun *than an average law firm.* This place must be a blast.
Barnes & Thornburg:
Most memorable experience: Having people tell me that they heard "through the grapevine" that I had done a great job [on a brief]; I’ve never been so proud!
Anyone else want to hit this person?
Choate, Hall & Stewart:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: More social events-particularly [ones] that do not seem like social exams.
Getting excited?
Cleary Gottlieb:
What they said surprised them most: How the hours flew by.
Are these surveys really anonymous?
Cozen O'Connor:
Most memorable experience: Scavenger hunt through Philadelphia.
Anyone else picturing a team of law students stealing the Liberty Bell?
Cravath:
What they said surprised them most: Work somewhat less soul-crushing than expected.
How they would describe the firm to other law students: Don’t get scared away by myths of horrible people.
I bet these lines are going straight into the recruiting brochures. This should scare you. If this does not scare you, stop, take a look in the mirror, and think about the person you used to be before law school. Sorry, this is just a frightening pair of comments.
Crowell & Morin:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Less junk food related activities.
What were they doing? Bobbing for cheez doodles?
Davis Polk:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Provide summer associates with one paid day off.
This is not a comment on the law firm. Whoever wrote this should go look at his paycheck. They're paying $2400 a week when you come to work. That's way more than any 2L deserves for summer work. There's no way -- no way! -- that anyone could possibly make a legitimate straight-faced argument that the firm has any obligation to pay you when you don't show up. You're making enough already. Crazy. Crazy.
Dechert:
Most memorable experience: Dechert took all of the firm’s summer associates to London at the beginning of the summer; London trip was incredible.
But did they make you do work there?
Dickstein Shapiro:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Have the associates stop pressing the summers for gossip.
Okay, cross that one off the list.
Foley Hoag:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Faster Internet access.
That's interesting. I mean, if it's true that it's a problem, it's bizarre the firm hasn't dealt with that.
Holland & Knight:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Have a couple of summer associate events that are of more interest to women.
Cancel the weightlifting competition for next year. Also the sperm donation event.
Irell & Manella:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Plan a few more events for shy people.
You want that firm with the "less social" events, right? Better cancel the scream-off for next summer. And the rave.
Kronish Lieb:
What they said surprised them most: That once you get a Blackberry, you are on a leash.
Lovely...
Lewis & Roca:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Give some more upfront information about how to utilize a secretary.
No comment. Use your imagination.
O'Melveny & Myers:
What they said surprised them most: The culture of a seven-day work week.
Again, that's one for the recruiting brochure.
Sidley Austin:
What they said surprised them most: How easy it is to forget about the other things you wanted to do with your life.
Two in a row: again, get that one in the brochure. In bold.
Simpson Thacher:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Give the summer associates remote access to the office…via a Blackberry or at least passwords [to a server] so that we could leave the office…with some peace of mind.
No comment.
Stroock:
How they would describe the firm to other law students: They made me feel like a real person with a life, thoughts, and opinions of my own.
Lucky you!
Thacher Profitt:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Pick: lifestyle or sweatshop–I’m confused.
That doesn't sound good.
Weil Gotshal:
What they said surprised them most: Friendliness of partners and associates–no rug chewers.
I just don't know what a rug-chewer is. Anyone? I think it was in the Saturday Night Live sketch where they made fun of John Kerry talking about Vice President... no, I don't want to go there. Forget it.
Okay, there's one tiny kernel of value. The firm-by-firm rankings have a bit of prose in terms of stuff that's good about the firm and stuff that's bad, I assume taken from the aggregate responses, but probably just from the 1 form where someone bothered to leave a comment instead of just doing the multiple choice stuff. So, again, I'm not sure how much credence to give this stuff. I browsed for interesting comments. Here's the best ones I found. (In other words, this is the Cliffs Notes to the summer associate survey, so you don't have to slog through it.)
Akin Gump:
Most memorable experience: Social events.
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: A few less social events.
This is so helpful, isn't it? Come on, American Lawyer. And I'm not even going to dwell on less/fewer. I hope the firm reads this as "a few events that are less social," so they have a solitaire tournament, or a solo kayak competition, or something like that next year. Nevermind, I'm being stupid.
Allen & Overy:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Communicate better on the nature of the work offered.
This sounds kind of substantive. Did the firm tell someone they'd be doing one thing and then totally bait-and-switch? "Uh, yeah, you who wants to do public interest -- you're going to be defending Burma in this human rights case."
Alston & Bird:
How they would describe the firm to other law students: A fun place to work with people who enjoy working with young lawyers.
Pedophiles.
Baker Botts:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Change the overall tone of the firm: make it less formal, more fun, and not as dour.
Wow. Less fun *than an average law firm.* This place must be a blast.
Barnes & Thornburg:
Most memorable experience: Having people tell me that they heard "through the grapevine" that I had done a great job [on a brief]; I’ve never been so proud!
Anyone else want to hit this person?
Choate, Hall & Stewart:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: More social events-particularly [ones] that do not seem like social exams.
Getting excited?
Cleary Gottlieb:
What they said surprised them most: How the hours flew by.
Are these surveys really anonymous?
Cozen O'Connor:
Most memorable experience: Scavenger hunt through Philadelphia.
Anyone else picturing a team of law students stealing the Liberty Bell?
Cravath:
What they said surprised them most: Work somewhat less soul-crushing than expected.
How they would describe the firm to other law students: Don’t get scared away by myths of horrible people.
I bet these lines are going straight into the recruiting brochures. This should scare you. If this does not scare you, stop, take a look in the mirror, and think about the person you used to be before law school. Sorry, this is just a frightening pair of comments.
Crowell & Morin:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Less junk food related activities.
What were they doing? Bobbing for cheez doodles?
Davis Polk:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Provide summer associates with one paid day off.
This is not a comment on the law firm. Whoever wrote this should go look at his paycheck. They're paying $2400 a week when you come to work. That's way more than any 2L deserves for summer work. There's no way -- no way! -- that anyone could possibly make a legitimate straight-faced argument that the firm has any obligation to pay you when you don't show up. You're making enough already. Crazy. Crazy.
Dechert:
Most memorable experience: Dechert took all of the firm’s summer associates to London at the beginning of the summer; London trip was incredible.
But did they make you do work there?
Dickstein Shapiro:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Have the associates stop pressing the summers for gossip.
Okay, cross that one off the list.
Foley Hoag:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Faster Internet access.
That's interesting. I mean, if it's true that it's a problem, it's bizarre the firm hasn't dealt with that.
Holland & Knight:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Have a couple of summer associate events that are of more interest to women.
Cancel the weightlifting competition for next year. Also the sperm donation event.
Irell & Manella:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Plan a few more events for shy people.
You want that firm with the "less social" events, right? Better cancel the scream-off for next summer. And the rave.
Kronish Lieb:
What they said surprised them most: That once you get a Blackberry, you are on a leash.
Lovely...
Lewis & Roca:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Give some more upfront information about how to utilize a secretary.
No comment. Use your imagination.
O'Melveny & Myers:
What they said surprised them most: The culture of a seven-day work week.
Again, that's one for the recruiting brochure.
Sidley Austin:
What they said surprised them most: How easy it is to forget about the other things you wanted to do with your life.
Two in a row: again, get that one in the brochure. In bold.
Simpson Thacher:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Give the summer associates remote access to the office…via a Blackberry or at least passwords [to a server] so that we could leave the office…with some peace of mind.
No comment.
Stroock:
How they would describe the firm to other law students: They made me feel like a real person with a life, thoughts, and opinions of my own.
Lucky you!
Thacher Profitt:
If they could tell the firm to change one thing: Pick: lifestyle or sweatshop–I’m confused.
That doesn't sound good.
Weil Gotshal:
What they said surprised them most: Friendliness of partners and associates–no rug chewers.
I just don't know what a rug-chewer is. Anyone? I think it was in the Saturday Night Live sketch where they made fun of John Kerry talking about Vice President... no, I don't want to go there. Forget it.
posted by Anonymous @ 9:59 AM
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