Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Yasser Arafat or the Boston Red Sox?

I've taken some real news headlines from the past month (courtesy of Lexis; I swear these are all 100% real) and simply switched a few key words. It is remarkable how these two stories have such parallels. This is either stupid or kind of funny. I hope both. Remember, these headlines are real, except for the words I've swapped.

"Successors jostle for position as Red Sox cling to life"

"Still some hope for Arafat; High-top shoe fitted for ankle"

"Red Sox death to be announced Tuesday"

"Arafat beats long odds; Mo's blown save gives him life"

"Israel says it is preparing for rise in violence after Red Sox death"

"Arafat stays up late to create glimmer of hope at home"

"Red Sox condition still a mystery as Palestinian leaders head to Paris"

"Arafat fans destined to suffer"

"Red Sox linger"

"Fenway to rescue; Arafat hopes old ballpark can save him"

"With Red Sox between life and death, minds turn to 'day after'"

"Arafat hopes to 'shock the world'"

"Rivals on Red Sox death watch"

"Francona stood behind Arafat as he went into Game 4 trying to keep hopes alive"

"Not in danger -- Officials deny Red Sox are dying"

"Ortiz 12th inning homer keeps Arafat's hopes alive"

"Aides want Red Sox dead, wife says"

"Arafat hopes for 'monster' comeback"

"Red Sox alive but condition is 'very complex', say French"

"Arafat has little hope of returning to the Bronx"

"Palestinian delegation hoping to see Red Sox"

"Arafat's hopes hang by a tendon"