Last week, the registrar e-mailed us that grades would be available online at noon today. We just received an e-mail. I'll present it in two halves.

"From the Registrar's Office, There will be a brief delay in releasing grades for fall semester on your personal on-line schedule."

Quick. Before you keep reading, I want you to guess the next sentence. How long is this delay. Any guesses? Good. Keep reading.

"Grades for fall semester will be available on your on-line schedule beginning at 1 p.m. today, Thursday, Jan. 20."

Was this e-mail really necessary? I mean, I've already checked for my grades twelve or thirteen times, just to see if they were up a little early, but for most people, who are more able to manage their curiosity (because at this point it really is just curiosity -- I don't think I really care if I got A's, B's, or Q's -- it really won't change my life -- but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm curious -- force of habit, perhaps), was there really going to be a rush on the website at noon, and a riot in the streets of Cambridge if the grades weren't available for another hour.

OK, maybe there would be. And maybe, secretly, deep down, I'm really glad they sent the e-mail, because I would have refreshed the page seventy-four times in the hour between noon and 1. Not that I won't anyway. Might just be a ploy to throw us off. An evil registrar trick.

Because the registrar is known for evil tricks. See, e.g., exams that start at 8:30 in the morning.